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:icondangolovesyou: More from DangoLovesYou




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Submitted on
April 8, 2013
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down down down
into the sweet embrace
follow the hare of temptation
honor him with your grace

down down down
into a world of happenstance
where everything is perfect
locked inside an endless trance

down down down
into the depths of the devil's mind
you will not be safe here
leave all hope behind

down down down
into a new land just for you
you gave into opportunity
and created this world anew

down down down
into an illusion
what you want is what appears
for you are the chosen one

down down down
into a life not true to views
deceitful and dangerous
but how can you refuse?

down down down
into the rabbit hole
if you think it a wonderland
the land has reached its goal

down down down
into a peaceful death
all you see are inviting lies
they're all that you have left

down down down
into an existence nearly done
playing you was easy
and to all of us here, fun.
I peotried! I love Alice in Wonderland. <3
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:iconanonymouspoetgirl:
AnonymousPoetGirl May 5, 2013  Student Writer
I love the poem, but I do have one suggestion for you. On the line, "for you, locked inside an endless trance," You could just remove for you. The poem would flow better and I think the line could be understood just as easily. You don't ha to if you don't want to. It is just a suggestion. Love the poem! :D
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:icondangolovesyou:
DangoLovesYou May 5, 2013  Student Writer
It does sound better like that, doesn't it? Thank you for the input! :meow:
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:iconanonymouspoetgirl:
AnonymousPoetGirl May 5, 2013  Student Writer
You're very welcome. It's the least I could do! :D
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:iconsleepy-kisses:
sleepy-kisses Apr 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I just love the line "follow the hare of temptation"
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:icondangolovesyou:
DangoLovesYou Apr 19, 2013  Student Writer
Why, thank you ^v^
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:iconchinnychinwen:
chinnychinwen Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your poem is very emotional for me because i'm in a situation where i'm looking for a job and a new life. This poem describes my current life, the life people hope for me, and the life i hope for myself.
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:icondangolovesyou:
DangoLovesYou Apr 9, 2013  Student Writer
I'm glad someone was able to connect with it. :3 Thank you for the favourite, and I sincerely hope your new life brings you a happily ever after!
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